chaos, oder etwas

i've been strangely absent lately, and there is good reason.  i've been working on a new web presence, and while it's not totally finished, i've finally spent enough hours to be able to say 'yes, this is what i want.  so here it is...' 

the luxurious simple.

i'm moving blogs.  i've been blogging with vox for just over two years, and i adore the platform and especially the community.  however, as my life has changed and progressed, so have my blogging needs.  i need to be able to control what my blog looks like with more than pre-made design templates.  i need the oppurtunity to change the html more readily.  i need a composing platform that doesn't go SPASTIC on me or delete my posts right as i'm finishing them.  i'm curious about google adsense.  and i need people to be able to comment without registering with yet something else on the internet.  hence, i'm moving the majority of my blog existence to blogger.  i HATE that i can't just 'fix' my vox to be what i need, but it's just not going to happen.  so it goes...

'the luxurious simple' is (hopefully) going to be a couple of things that i've always wanted to explore.  i will continue to post mainly on my life and existence as an ex-pat aspiring opera singer in the most beautiful city you've ever seen.  i'm hoping to continue my attempts at decent photography.  and in tribute to my severe food blog addiction, i'll probably be posting more on cooking/baking/coffee, and therefore, hopefully cooking and baking more!  i'm hoping to post more about running and travel (which begins soon...more to come!), and less about some of the more controversial topics i've written about here.  not because i think these issues are unimportant, but because it's time for a new tone.  i still stick to my beliefs, and i'm not backin' down...you just won't hear me yelling so brashly and wounding in the name of 'making a point' so readily.

additionally, this blog will be occasionally-as-time-permits co-authored by my dear friend and partner-in-crime, the BIG DIVA.  fyi: she's probably the coolest and most articulate person i know.  i'm so excited for her agreement to post occasionally about whatever the heck she feels like, be it the glory of guacamole, omg shoes, or how this life is more beautiful than we can comprehend.  all options, and anything else her diva heart desires to write about, are far more than acceptable.

this is my third "remodel & move" since i started blogging almost six years ago, and i still love it. writing well is a process, and sharing what's important or frivolous has proved so profound in my life.  thank you for reading my ramblings here for the last 2+ years...it's been awesome.

i really hope you'll take a peek at what i've been up to, and bookmark/rss feed it!  i'm really excited about it, and am hoping it'll be as great as this has been!  i'll keep my vox account open in order to follow my neighborhood and comment, but probably won't be blogging here much anymore.  oh, and incidentally i listed a couple of you in the section of blogs of people i know, in the sidebar.  should you NOT want to be a part of that for whatever reason, just lemme know.

so come visit!  it's a fun place!

just knee-deep in a new project.

....which i'll be unveiling soon.

get excited!

dear joe the plumber, 

this happened.  some media outlet thought you'd make a good news correspondent in gaza.  uhh, ok?

anyway, this happened.  for real.

love,
me

JOE: The story here is people are being killed and the media's slanting it and trying to make it Hamas is, uh, as far as, that Israel's being bad. Do you believe Israel is bad?

REPORTER: Do I believe it?

JOE: Yeah, do you?!

REPORTER: I'm Israeli, so...

JOE: So answer the question!

REPORTER: No, I don't think Israel is bad.

JOE: Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?

REPORTER: Yeah.

[pause]

JOE: You do?!

REPORTER: Yeah.

JOE: Have you said that on air?

REPORTER: I'm just a reporter.

look no further.

oh my god.  so unbelievably adorable!

the new year is upon us!  this year, it seems more people are truly excited by the change of calendar, and i can't help but join in.  some have had an awful year that they don't wish to repeat, and some have had a fantastic year that they're hoping to build on.  in any case, 2009 is being met with absolute glee, and i couldn't be more thrilled.

this past year has been a magical, crazy adventure for me.  on the one hand, it was my first full year out of college, and i basically worked and paid the rent.  on the other hand, i was lucky enough to do it in the most beautiful place on earth.  i moved to vienna in january with a bed to sleep in, friends to hang out with, and a teacher who believes in me.  thankfully, the universe landed job after show after job in my lap, right when i needed them.  it seems that taking a leap of faith (even if it feels like it's off of a cliff) can actually work out for the best.  i know this to be true in execution now, as well as in theory.

i managed to get some stuff done!  i continued study with my wonderful voice teacher, ran a half-marathon, hung out with people i loved, and laughed a lot.  in july and august, my best friend from college visited for a glorious five weeks, and we spent the summer sitting in beautiful places and laying in the european sunshine.  while he was there, i was also part of an incredible show that ran all summer long. i even had a small role in our second show!  i loved being a part of things last summer, and am excited to join the cast as a lead in 2009. 

when the summer show ended, i found a job in corporate american export world, and had a great time serving coffee.  i learned a lot about myself and my limits (sleep.  you need it.), and thanks to the location of this particular bucks, served coffee to some singers that i've admired for years.  one of them went above and beyond in the 'awesome' department.  right before i came back to tejas for vacation, my pals annie and lindsey and i gave a beautiful recital!  it was a blast.  observe (this is me and lindsey, pianist extraordinaire):

gesangsabend!

vacation has been absolutely wonderful, both in tejas and in chicago.  i've gotten to be with people i love, be a half-marathon diva-cheerleader, party my face off, and spend endless hours surrounded by gorgeous people and fascinating conversation.   what can i say?  i'm the luckiest girl on earth.

the new year brings with it a sense of nervous-but-awesome anticipation.  i'm going back to an austrian existence that will be very up-in-the-air for a while, and that's okay...change is good.  lots of auditions, hopefully finding decent work, new repertoire, a show this summer, and starting to teach!  exciting, no? 

i want to spend more time living this year.  even though i had an awesome time, i spent too many hours of my life worrying, mourning, hurting, and generally miserable in 2008.  and while i know nothing is ever truly 'over' (because the minute you say it is, it comes back to bite you), i now have the tools to move forward and be the less-stressed and bliss-tastic singer/runner/diva extraordinaire that i know myself to really be....that i was, once upon a time.  i'm excited to be genuinely excited about my life.  it's a good feeling.

i found this the other day, sifting through old blog entries, and it seems appropriate:

it is possible to pull yourself back from the brink of what seems like endless sorrow, suffering, and hopelessness. 

it is possible to feel like yourself again.  

it is possible to endure, nay, enjoy (!) being onstage again.

it is possible to know what is the right thing for yourself.

it is possible to be so happy you find youself giggling.

it is possible to have real dreams again, not nightmares that land you in a nauseous cold sweat.

it is possible to recognize yourself in the mirror.

it is possible to defend yourself, even if your own worst enemy is you.

it is possible to be able to trust yourself, others, your body, your soul, and the universe, again.  the ground isn't going to fall out from under you.

it is possible to sing along to the radio, to dance when no one else is around, and to be legitimately happy.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

first of all, puppy kisses are pretty spectacular.

second of all, parties where all the people you love are in the same house, and clearly having a good time?  possibly better than puppy kisses.  possibly.

i have eaten more mexican food in the last three days than i have in the last year.

someday, i won't cry when i leave.  even though i'm going somewhere else amazing, i still become acutely aware of how much i love it here.

someday, i also know that i'll be able to swing through here on a more regular basis, or at least know i have the option more often.  but in order to get there, i have a lot of work to do, a lot of singing, a lot more self-realization, and many more auditions.  which is why i'm going back to where my work meets my life, in the city of musical bliss. 

but first, a very exciting stop through the windy city of chicago.  not looking forward to the weather.  definitely looking forward to the laughter, the pizza, the new year's, and the people i adore.

it's easy to forget how much you are loved.  and then it gets thrown in your face.

front porch + 70 and sunny + amazing coffee + oy vey, greta = the recipe for shameless perfection.

this time last year, i stood with a very scary and exciting year in front of me.  this year is no different, except i'm more familiar with the unfamiliar.  i feel at home in a place where i'm still an outsider.  i know i belong, even if they don't know it yet.  i'm ready for what lies ahead of me.  so far, the things have needed to happen have happened, in the right order and with minimal distress.  this year, we step up the adventure, the living at the edge of a proverbial cliff, the commitment to the profession that is beginning to show it's blemishes, but is still beautiful to me...who knows what will happen.  it hasn't kicked my butt yet, and i still adore it.  is that too sentimental?  probably...but so far, that's worked in my favor.

and i still stand under the stars and feel my heart swell with overwhelming gratitude.  what else is there?

beautimous.